A family and marriage counselor’s life is full of humor, empathy and compassion. Imagine walking into an old-fashioned confessional. The room is for individuals, couples and families to let go of baggage – read this.
Counselors in marriage and family are navigators, helping people to navigate through the vast ocean of human emotions. The counselors help to guide individuals out of turbulent relationships into more calm waters. What they do goes beyond just listening. The essence of what they do is not just listening.
It’s as if two people decide to get married or a couple merges with another family. The palette can look beautiful at times, but also murky. Therapists guide you by showing the colors and brushes to use.
Imagine that this is your normal Tuesday evening therapy session. John says that he feels ignored because Jane works so many hours. Jane talks instead about her stress that day, rather than addressing the issue directly. This is where the role of our therapist comes into play. He guides John, Jane’s therapist and themselves through a dialogue that unearths deeper issues.
It is important to note that the professionals’ approach varies just as much from person-to-person. In some sessions, participants may draw a tree of their family to discover patterns in previous generations. Some sessions with the family could include roleplaying where each member can take on another’s shoes.
They are usually enriched by humor. Imagine that a couple is discussing money, a subject which can be very tense. The therapist uses jokes to lighten the mood by joking that perhaps they don’t have to purchase a house since they bought so many avocados. Laughter is a great way to reduce tension. It can also open communication that was previously blocked due to frustration.
The use of metaphors by therapists is another way to explain complex situations or emotions. Couples can be helped by using a metaphor to compare a difficult situation to a tangled pair of headphones. This will make them realize they must have patience and avoid damaging the delicate wires.
The professionals also pay close attention to the dynamics of culture in relation to modern family life and relationships, whether they are navigating cultural differences or marrying people from different backgrounds. It gives them a new level of expertise.
In many cases, the success of therapy relies on your ability to establish trust. The process is very similar to that used to plant seeds. Seeds need constant attention and care.
It’s worth telling the story of an elderly couple who went to a psychologist after feeling that they drifted apart with time. Following several sessions where they exchanged hobbies and interests, the couple was able to rekindle their relationship.
Do not think that marriage and family counseling is just about fixing problems. In fact, the goal is to strengthen family bonds by improving relationships.
Marriage and family therapy is about more than just repair of relationships. The goal is to understand each other and heal, as well as rediscovering joy in their presence.